Conquest

Conquest...of man, of land, of mind, of life. What I find most intriguing about Cortes is his intelligence. He was, by my standards, a monster, however he was very smart about his tactics in taking over land. Obviously he had no problem killing and pillaging a village or town, however because he knew he was outnumbered by Montezuma and his men... he choose to treat Montezuma with respect. This respect is discussed on page 46 and 47. Diaz tells of the first meeting between Cortes and Montezuma, "he (Cortes) dismounted from his horse, and when he came near to Montezuma each bowed deeply to the other"(47). I think this speaks volumes for the military finesse of Cortes. However Cortes was no different than any other explorer or settler. He believed it was his God given right to take over the land from people he viewed as savages. This writing really shows the dark side of conquest. One example was the description of the men who were sacrificed to the "idols". Men whose chest was cut open and hearts taken from their chests. Their arms and legs cut off and eaten. The text states, "They they ate their flesh with a sauce of peppers and tomatoes" (51). This description supports Cortes' belief that Montezuma and his culture was truly savage. Diaz paints a very graphic picture of what war and conquest is really like. He continues to give the reader distinctive descriptions of the death that engulfed them during the war and conquest, the death of the cities, "We could not walk without treading on the bodies and heads of dead Indians..the dry land and the stockades were piled with corpse. Indeed, the stench was so bad that no one could endure it" (pg53). This detail was thoroughly disgusting and disturbing. As I have reread this blog I began to think about what conquest looks like in the 21st century. Are we still spreading disease and murdering each other because we view the other as a savage? There is the technology conquest. Technology is used to destroy people all of the time. We here of cyber bullying or videos that are released online that exposes people and the private moments of their lives. I just read in the New York Times today about a man who took a picture of a dead woman in New York and posted it on his facebook. Now his account was closed but the damage was done. And I do think that we still enter villages of the middle east and because America views the people and the villages as less than cultured...America feels free to destroy the homes of people who are human just like you and me. Another example is the treatment of prisoners of war that has been recently exposed in the media. In class we discussed the idea of conquest and what can be seized. How conquest can take on varied forms in our lives. This was demonstrated when we documented, on the board, the parallel between The Wedding Crashers and the Cortez text. We watched a portion of the movie Wedding Crashers. We discussed the conquest of sex and women and how this was similar to or paralleled to the conquest of Cortes. In the movie we see male domination through charisma, lies, and drinking. We see women treated as trophies, mere objects to be won and displayed to other men. We see that the conquest of female with be met in anyway, whatever it takes to get the woman. Women in this movie are seen as expendable and non-essential except for as a trophy. Women are present for the entertainment and enjoyment of the men in the movie. Vince Vaughn's character portrays this ideology when he is on the stairs at the country house after being fondled by the young lady with red hair. He is advising his friend to close the deal and to not get personally involved. He also belittles the mother who had exposed her breasts just moments earlier. We finished the week off with watching a documentary on professional wrestling. I found this film to be absolutely offensive and disgusting. Honestly I was sick to my stomach when I left the class. The underlying or maybe not so underlying ideologies in this media exposes the truly deep seed of sexism in this country. The actions of this profession supports every stereotypical belief about masculinity that can be thought of from homo-phobia to woman as sex toys. The documentary explains that professional wrestling supports the notion of male dominance and conquest. Women of professional wrestling are belittle and degraded. There is a hyper-sexuality that runs throughout the business. This is obvious by the dress of the women and men. I found it amazing that whole scenarios and scripts are created to expose homo-sexuality in order to destroy it to continue to prove the extreme masculinity of the male wrestlers. Honestly I think this type of entertainment truly supports and perpetuates the cycle of abuse within the American culture. Professional wrestling is saying that it is ok to hurt others and to establish your manhood at the expense of women and those weaker than you. I believe that this sub-culture is normalizing bullying and violence. I would think that in 2011, America would have moved beyond this type of entertainment to a more enlightened form. But since wrestling is so popular with America's youth, it is a definite indicator of where this country stands on it's views of masculinity, conquest, women, and homo-sexuality.

Whitman and the final thoughts

I am a huge fan of the HBO series Sex and the City. I think that show portrays women in a positive light...The four women in the show are strong-willed, smart, successful, have positive friendships, are mature, communicate well, and are sexy of course. I really appreciate the series because it discusses issues that are relevant to all women, providing laughter, sometimes tears, but perhaps solution or resolution. I found myself think of this show as I read Walt Whitman.

Leaves of Grass is simply beautiful. It is a combination of sexual liberation, with sensual desire and connection, with a call for equality and reciprocity, while respecting nature and making our love and passion as pure and simply as nature. Whitman wants everyone to experience life for themselves. He is asking for you to make your own decisions, "You shall no longer take things at second or third hand nor look through the eyes of the dead...listen to all sides and filter them for yourself."(26) He believes in erotic behavior because it is natural and free. He is asking his reader to be present and in the now. He wants you to be completely submerged in the experience so that you may experience it physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. You will find this in the passage that starts..." and am not contained between my hat and my boots." (31).

Dead Poet's society did a wonderful job of showing how Whitman wants us to let go of our baggage and find our inner voice and freedom. I think that is shown as Robin Williams character helps that student to shed his preconceived notions and worries that are placed upon him by his father. Honestly I think this is an amazing lesson for future teachers. We have to have the ability to open the minds of students who are burdened with many things in their lives. I find it inspirational.

What I also appreciate about Whitman is idea of empowerment for the individual. This makes me think if Emerson but in a simpler more receptive manner. Whitman asks us to believe in our souls again...not just our minds or bodies. Whitman wants us to "feel" again. I think this is the message in the movie clip we watched in class, Kinsey. We were asked to think about our political body and how it affects us. If we are empowered by more than just our physical being then we are able to surpass that political part of us. Kinsey and his wife let go of the assumed roles and beliefs they had about marriage, sex, and gender. The transcend to a communal body and into one entity. To experience this with someone you love is amazing. It is very liberating and sensual.

I believe this was the essence of the movie Home at the End of the World. Here are three individuals who have faced tragedy but remain very innocent and free from societal laws and norms. They remain very simple. They love each other unconditionally. Their love does not know gender boundaries. It is not angry. It is forgiving and pure. I believe this is what Whitman is trying to say in his work.



There are a few central themes that have seemed to govern this class. The themes are male domination, independence and responsibility, fear, and obsession. Although the class has branched into many different discussions and ideals, the above-mentioned themes seem to be present throughout the course, woven into the literature and media.

Male domination was a prevalent theme early on in the course. However it remained until the end. We began male domination with the puritan culture. Men in that culture believed that women were followers and did not have powerful role within the society. Men considered women weak and prone to fall into bad situations. We examined this through the roles of Hester and Mary Rowlandson. Hester was seen as a whore because she choose to have sex with a married man. She challenged the role of women and did not live in shame because she broke the role that was subscribed to her by the male gender. Mary Rowlandson embodied the Puritan woman. She remained in faith to survive her captivity by Native Americans. She filled her role to prove that a woman who lives properly will be accepted in society even if she has been in a situation that is questionable.

The next type of male domination we examined is the conquest. Most obvious was the conquest of Cortes. He brutally and forcefully went into Montezuma and took over. He would kill and steal to take what he believed was his God-given right to take over land from savage cultures. Not so obvious was the conquest of land by the settlers. The settlers were not so overtly violent but were taking over. Male settlers took leadership roles and either enslaved or put indigenous people to work for them.

Male domination looked at masculinity. We watched the video on wrestlers that exposed how society has helped to shape how men and boys perceive masculinity. Men who are strong and offensive. Men who are willing to engage in violent and physical activity to secure what the want and to defend their manhood. Men are quick to put down those who are weaker than them. This idea of masculinity reflects the way men acted and perceived themselves in the beginning of America, and still perceive themselves today.

It was not until Emerson that we began to redefine masculinity and moved away from male domination. Emerson believed that man should become masters of themselves before they can master anything around them. That the three main aspects of your psyche must be in balance to perform as a citizen. Emerson approached this with affirmative statements and redefining manhood. In addition, Emerson was no longer looking outside of self to determine manhood.

The next central theme that has prevailed throughout the course has been fear. We experienced fear in the beginning readings and then later with Poe. Because people typically fear what the do not know or understand, the "other" it...they make it monstrous. The Salem witch trials had an underlying political agenda to acquire land but to the general public the witch trials allowed the community to save themselves from any unexplained acquisition or question. They could assume it was witchery and rid the community of the offensive creature or person.

The Puritans feared the native Americans. Mary Rowlandson made it through her captivity with the power of God and her bible. She did not understand the ways of the Native Americans so therefor they were barbaric and savages. They were so horrible she was choosing not to eat to avoid what they ate. It was only when hunger prevailed that she forced herself to partake eating their food.

We experience fear again with the writings of Poe. Again fear is found where people do not understand or do not want to understand. Poe exposes the evils of love and relationships. Poe looks into the psyche that is not balance and is actually considered insane with obsession, immortality, and irrational thought processes. Poe examines the dark side of interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships. However it is imperative to know and understand the dark side inorder to recognize and avoid it.

The third central theme of the course was obsession. We found obsession in almost every reading of the class. Puritans were obsessed with religion and ensuring that the community did not suffer in regards to immoral acts committed by anyone in the community. The Puritans was obsessed with exposing wrong-doers, even if it meant killing innocent people. Cortes and the early settlers were obsessed with land acquisition and dominance.

Moby Dick and In the Heart of the Sea were obsessed with survival and the ramifications that came with it. This is understandable though. If you were stranded on a shipwreck for month without food or water, I truly believe anyone would become obsessed with survival. The important part of this is that when face with survival, humans will let go of societal norms and recreate the norms that must be lived by to survive. However this obsession for Ahab was not the same. His physical survival was not at stake, although his mental survival was. He too decided to recreate the rules he would live by in order to find Moby Dick and kill him.

We finish obsession with Dickinson and Sexton. Dickinson exposes the obsession of a love lost or that is unattainable. She provides her reader with the emotions of longing and desire for a prize that is outside of her reach. Sexton is expressing the obsession of self. Her writings giver her an outlet for her own personal demons or obsessions. She is obsessed with solving her internal conflict. Her need to feel unconditional love. Her desire to erase or re-write the past through nursery rhymes.

The last theme that was relevant to this class was that of independence and responsibility. Asma discusses the responsibility of an individual to control his desires This is done by balancing the three aspect of the human psyche: reason, emotion, and appetite. According to Asma definition, Hester did not control her appetite. Ahab did not control his emotion. And Poe did not come close to mastering his reason.

Emerson is the next to discuss independence and responsibility. Through his personal relationship with God, Emerson develops that ideology that men are responsible for their mental capabilities. Man must look inside of himself and evaluate his behavior and mental state. Emerson believed that man was no longer defined by Cortes standard of masculinity but by the what was inside of him. How rich a person was did not deal with finances but with character and virtue. Emerson wanted liberation.

Stephen King examines how without liberation, freedom or responsibility for self, man can become possessed beyond recognition. Jack, who never was allowed to discover and develop his self, was never a free man. He was a slave to the cycle of abuse, to societal views, and to alcohol. These masters made it very easy for the Overlook Hotel's spirit to possess Jack's will. Jack no longer had free will, he was doing the bidding of a much darker entity.

Finally with Walt Whitman we reach true liberation, Independence, and freedom. Whitman provides his readers with a holistic view of life. Whitman believes in liberation physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually. He calls for equality, reciprocity, simplicity, and nurturing through nature. Whitman wants his readers to free themselves of the societal norms that have them chained. He asks his readers to search for themselves to find the answers. Do not listen to another, Whitman warns. He wants his readers to come to life and experience the moment, fully submerged in their surroundings and their feelings. With Whitman we no longer have male dominance because men and women are on the same playing field. Each gender is experiencing life for themselves and not living by the standards or rules of the other genders making. There no longer is fear because readers are looking for answers in a calm and natural fashion. Whitman calls his readers back to nature to explain questions. Obsession is no longer a concern because Whitman asks his reader to return to nature and accept simplicity.

Sexton and Dickinson

I found both of these readings to be incredibly sad. Sexton more so than Dickinson but still both touched my heart and my soul. Sexton's personal life really is very tragic and had a profound effect on her writings. However, I am sure this is the case for most writers. Sexton's writings are very insightful and challenging to the treatment of women. Her writing seems to be timeless. Dickinson writes: You left me, sweet, two legacies, ---/A legacy of love/A Heavenly Father would content,/ Had he the offer of;//You left me boundaries of pain/Capacious as the sea,/Between eternity and time,/Your consciousness and me (161). I find this poem very intriguing. I think it really touches on the thought that there must be good and bad alike in the world. Love and pain are found in relationships. Dickinson expresses the pain of love that people do not want to talk about or acknowledge. This is similar to Poe. She is talking about the obsession and longing of a loved one. But where Poe only focused on the gloom and doom of love or relationships, Dickinson also speaks to the beauty and happiness of love. But as I type this I wonder which is worse. It is like the saying..."It is better to have loved and lost, than to not loved at all". Sometimes I am not so sure. For anyone who has lost a love it is devastating. It truly can leave you a mental and physical state that is not sane or healthy. Perhaps this is why Dickinson is so wonderful. She has the ability to move you through the entire process of love. She has the ability to take your desires, needs, pain, and joy and move you through all of those emotions in one simply poem. (quote another poem here). When I left class I thought about two aspects: Self-realization and falling in love. The facilitation group explained that Dickinson went into seclusion to discover herself, the true self. I have struggled with this idea. How do we find who we really are if we do not have contact with the world? What experiences would allow us to discover our inner self? I believe that stagnation equals death. This was the first thought I had about being in seclusion. But then we read the 'Master Letters'. And I thought about protection....was she in seclusion to protect herself from life? At the end of relationships, I think it is natural to fall into a self-seclusion...emotionally. At least I know I do. I have thought that I would never be able to love again and that I would never let anyone close again. As the class continued, Suzanne brought up the perverseness of falling in love. I found this comment and discussion to be so time appropriate for my life. I have recently ended a really bad relationship that I had the pleasure of 'falling in love' with the guy. However I have recently met someone who I really care about and think I could love but "falling" has never been the sensation with him. I had been searching and thinking about if I really like him that much if I am not falling. However...after Suzanne talked about it as perverseness I came to the conclusion that maybe not falling is better and that growing is a better way to be in love. Grow in love:) Which takes me to the Master Letters....and the flowers. Although I have not researched the significance of flowers as discussed in class I would like to find out more. I was intrigued with the idea of the Daisy being a powerful flower. Suzanne used the word invader....can we equate Dickinson's love in the letters as a conquest....Dickinson uses language of war such as Tomahawk and bullet. However I do not find the letters to be violent....more like she is trying to conquer him with love and obedience. Dickinson expresses her desire to be anything he wants in the second letter on the last page: take me in forever,/I will never be tired-/I will never be noisy,/ when you want to be/still-I will be/your best little/girl-nobody will/see me, but you-". I really enjoyed the Master Letters from class. The way she plays on the words and subtly is seducing her lover. The way that she is a little sarcastic at times, while always making sure he knows her true feelings and that she will wait for him no matter what. I think it is so romantic and beautiful. This makes me think of so many love stories, such as: The Way We Were, A Star is Born, heck...Priscilla Presley and her love for Elvis...:) How one love has waited and loved so much. In popular culture you could probably find this in the Twilight Saga. These letters also remind me of the song 'Beloved Wife' by Natalie Merchant. It is found on her Tiger Lilly CD. You can listen to the song on YouTube at www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PtB5_eEpLs . She sings about a elderly man who has lost his wife of 50 years. He is begging to go with her. He is asking if it is wrong to "lay down and turn his face away from the light." It is incredibly romantic and heart wrenching. You can also find the same sentiment in this poem: If you were coming in the fall,/ I'd brush the summer by/ With half a smile and half a spurn,/ As housewives do a fly.//If I could see you in a year,/ I'd wind the months in balls,/ And put them each in separate drawers,/Until their time befalls.//If only centuries delayed,/I'd count them on my hand,/ Subtracting till my fingers dropped/Into Van Diemen's land (163) Out of all of the class readings I was most moved by Anne Sexton's work. Simply I identify with her. I understand what it means to be the black sheep of the family and to not fit in. I understand what it is like to look for love outside of the nuclear family. I understand the manic episodes that come from the chaos that lived within her soul. That she needed to feel pain to survive and to know that she was alive... To find that love that will accept you unconditionally and to know that you do not deserve it will make you even more insane. How do reconcile within yourself that the one person you can trust and that loves you, you are hurting? This includes her children. Of all of her stories I enjoyed Rumpelstiltskin the most. I believe that each of us truly has two sides of ourselves, our "Doppelganger"(17). The good, the bad and the ugly. I am a Pisces and I refer to mine as the good fish and the not so good fish. The not so good fish is a little off her rocker. I digress...I believe that this story represents her struggle within herself to do what she wants and what she knows is right. In the story you see a transformation from her seeing the child as ugly and nourishing the child as stupid to the Queen being distraught over her child being taken from her; "She gave him her dumb lactation,...The queen cried two pails of see water"(20) I really believe that Anne was so unhappy with her childhood that she could not see value in childhood or children until she had her own. She knew she must save herself from her evil side in order to protect her children. And the King is her husband. We find her husband in many stories though. He is the prince who waited or the prince who kissed her. I also enjoyed Rapunzel. Sexton describes how Mother Gothel keeps her in "a stone-cold room, as cold as a museum"(40). Mother Gothel is keeping her there for her own selfish needs. This represents how we often hurt the ones we love by trying to keep them to ourselves or restrained in a relationship. If we do not let them grow or be free. Without change there is death and at the end of the story Sexton states, "They lived happily as you might expect proving that mother-me-do can be outgrown, just as fish on Friday, just as a tricycle" (42). This shows Sexton's growth from her turbulent childhood to her adult life.

Possession

Throughout the class we have talked about possession. Possession of land, of spirits, of thought, of beliefs, of desires, and now, the Shining, seems to be of body....However is it is not just of body. And there seems to be a strong correlation between possession and obsession and between possession and concession. At the beginning of the class we examined how men came to the United States and desired to possess the land and the resources of this new world. It was so possessing in their minds and souls that the became obsessed with the ideas of expansion. The created myths and ideals about witchcraft and religion. The Shining does not seem to be any different. Jack is a man who has never taken possession of his own beliefs or thoughts or actions. He is possession less. While at the Overlook he seems, through insanity, to take possession of his manhood and his environment leading to the detriment of his family. Jack's character in the book is very typical for a man of his time...he was working hard but floundering about trying to find his way after a devastating but deserving dismissal from his school. He is married with the pressures of providing for his family. He was raised by an abusive dad and a mother who could not or did not protect him because she could not protect herself. He was angry and filled with hatred. He self medicates with alcohol to avoid dealing with any feelings. He desperately wants to be considered a man. He must prove his masculinity. Because of Jack's past he refuses to take responsibility for any of his actions. He sees his anger and abuse as a sort of separate being from himself. He always "others" it. There are multiple times throughout the book that Jack discuss this alter personality or being..."For he still felt that the whole range of unhappy Stovington experiences had to be looked at with Jack Torrance in the passive mode. He had not done things; things had been done to him" (159). Jack refuses to take responsibility for his freewill. This can be expected, however, from person who has grown up in an abusive family and continues to perpetuate the cycle of abuse in their own adult life. Never are they the problem, they are merely a victim to the circumstances they are in. Jack ponders why he so unhappy and why he is driven to alcohol and he states, "Hadn't it been the woman he was married to?"(579). He is blaming Wendy for his problems...he sees himself as the victim. Jack also identifies his short-comings with the characters in his plays and stories, "That sick happiness at George's retreat was more typical of Denker in the play tan of Jack Torrance the playwright" (167). In class we discussed how this book was a modern day telling of a Poe-type story. Jack develops a relationship with the hotel. The spirit or manager of the hotel. He is possessed by the ideal of the hotel. As the hotel takes over Jack is unable to sleep...through insomnia Jack is taken to new places. Jack's insomnia leads to rebellion, hyper vigilance, and a very spastic energy. He can not reason. He is working with a primal energy within his corrupted body and spirit. He no longer needs alcohol to avoid his feeling for he is splitting with reality. He freewill is without restraint and he is feeling complete liberation from morality and sanity. Jack is a type of distorted Emerson...he believes as he is possessed that he is his own star. The problem is that his mental state leads to chaos and disaster. Why is Jack so available for possession? In class, many talked about how they thought Jack was such a jerk...yes he definitely was. However when children are subjected to violence all of their lives it affects them permanently. Jack never was allowed as a child to develop his own personality or psyche. He was crushed by his father. He never developed the skills to lead or be assertive. He was diseased or decayed before he was ever a man. This made him an easy target for the spirits of the hotel. He was vulnerable the leadership. It is like the saying, "Stand for something or fall for anything". Jack had no clue what to stand for. When the hotel began to help him assert what he believed to be his manhood he fell for the terror of it. He went overboard. He became a monster. I think what also makes this story so scary or disturbing to us is how ordinary the characters and places are. How Jack's life is so ordinary. That Jack resembles any ordinary man that we could run into on the streets. He presents as sane. He reminds me of serial killers such as Jeffery Dalmer. No one knows what lies beneath until it is exposed and then it is too late. In addition to the typical of Jack is the tools the hotel uses to affect Jack. All of the items we went over in class are so common, such as a scrapbook, or hedges, or a fire hose. Why would any of us think these would be tools of destruction? That is the disturbing part...for each of the items that may send us over the edge would seem just as innocent as these items. Have you ever looked at an item and became enraged? What was the item? Stephen King has done an excellent job of taking an everyday Joe and turning him into Manson... a cold, calculating, psychopath that will make others pay for his demise.

Poe....

Was Poe autistic? They would have never known that diagnosis then.... Poe likes to gloomy side of life...the side that others are not willing to examine. He has a way of showing us the dark side of our souls and psyche....He is willing to say what most want unsaid...Poe's symbolism is outstanding.... Poe writes, "How is it from beauty I have derived a type of unloveliness?---from the covenant of peace, a simile of sorrow?" (13) Poe is pointing out the other of love...or what was termed as perverseness in class. This seems to be the part of love that no one wants to face or deal with... the obsession of love. Everything good must have a bad side...it is the way the world, nature, works. Poe's writing examines the obsessions within relationships. For his characters it seems to be one item or characteristic. For example the evil eye in A Tell Tale Heart, the black cat, or the white teeth of Berenice. What I find most interesting about the latter story is that Poe did not seem to notice Berenice when she was young and vibrant but fell in love with her when she became ill....focusing on the one item of beauty still left on her. Poe describes this obsession as "Monomania" (18). It is the irrational, one-dimensional, fixated, and addictive focus of a lover...this type of love leads to insanity...the lack of sleep, lack of hunger and that leads to delusion. This is an example, "The teeth! the teeth!--they ere here, and there, and everywhere, and visibly and palpably before me; long, narrow and excessively white, with the pale lips writing about them" (18). Often in Domestic violence counseling for victims the question is asked, "how do you want to be loved? What is love to you? Is he loving you the way you want to be loved?" While reading Poe I contemplated these questions. Why did Berenice stay? What did she love about him? Why did the wife stay with the drunken husband who was beating and killing animals? Why did the man stay with the gentlemen with the evil eye? Is Poe turning against love? I do not believe he is... I think he is showing us that every lover, every relationship has an obsession, a torture, a perverseness. For example, whenever a relationship ends or a friendship ends, there is always something we really miss from the other person. We long for it...that things is what makes us cry. Now hopefully we are not out digging in graves to obtain that "thing". It is our sanity that keeps the average person from becoming stalker-like. As I think about love and relationships and obsession, I think that often we are self-obsessed. We see the reflection of others distorted within ourselves. Poe makes me think about the movie 9 1/2 weeks starring Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke (when he was sexy and only had one color hair). The film is about a man who pursues a woman. He wins her over, he cares for her person, he completely engulfs her in his love, attention, and devotion. He is completely taken by her. At one point in the movie she asked how he knew she would respond to him the way he has and he replied "I saw myself in you." (please find the video clip at www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd0yzgA3Yng). Ultimately though, Kim's character leaves Mickey's character and he desperately tries to give her what she really wants and that is him. What is even more interesting about Poe's writing is his use of Gothic Literature style. He takes what I have been referring to as love and relationships and twists it into non-traditional types of love or relationships. It is a relationship between the old man and the caretaker in the Tell Tale Heart. However it is the insanity or supernatural ability of the caretaker to hear the heart of the old man that makes him pounce on him to end the torment of the evil eye, ""there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I knew that sound well, too. It was the beating of the old man's heart. It increased my fury, as the beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage" (195). That torment was the obsession of the relationship. Gothic literature describes a deteriorated setting or a decaying episode. It focuses on dread and terror. The dread of the cat loving the drunk...his personal decay allowed him to scoop the eye out of an animal that adored him. He became vexed at the sight of the animal and that let to his demise.

Survival

Survival is an interesting concept. When I think about survival I usual think about providing for my children, my home, and emotionally. But there are many ways that one has to survive...basic needs, emotionally, physically, mentally. We must survive in the work place, in school, in our homes, in a social circles...When Darwin said " survival of the fittest", was he just talking about strength and size or was he talking about the ability to adapt to any situation that is presented to us? Not becoming the extinct species. Is survival ever left to chance? If I am in a plane crash...does that have anything to do with my natural abilities? In the Heart of the sea touches on survival in many of the ways listed above. It was not just about making it on a boat for 4 months after being attacked by a sperm whale. It was about surviving trauma, death, power dynamics, friendships, enemies, strangers, weather, predators, and your own self. What we found in this story was that personality, will, and physical strength all play a role in helping the few men survive, as did chance and the balance of nature. And how the men who were forced to survive were active players in the destruction of the balance of nature. I was appalled by the continued belief that man, or the men of the new world have the god given right to rape this earth of her inhabitants. I keep seeing the cartoon we looked at in class the first week where the woman is laying, draped in the American flag...enduring "man" pillaging of her. We have read of how man has came to America and see her as a place he can ravage and take advantage this land. This continues in this story as the whalers of Nantucket deplete the sperm whale population, the sea turtles and within 5 days all but destroy the natural make-up of Henderson Island. The men of the Essex did not once hesitate and think about the repercussions of their behavior, "In just 5 days, these twenty voracious men had exhausted their portion of the island" (143). They did believe that the earth and it's beauty was here for their taking. I understand that I should not judge by standards of today but I find it still repulsive the way the human populations continue to deplete or annihilate the earth's resources. I do not see much difference in the men of the Essex and the people of today. So the question is what will be the Whale that sinks America? The world? Another correlation that I made was that the men of the Essex were faced with the same decisions that the men and women of 911 were faced with. I am thinking of the people who choose to jump to their death. I have always thought to myself..."what was so bad that the people choose to jump to a sure death?" Is this what the men who stayed on Henderson Island were faced with when they chose to stay on an island that was low on food and may lose and did lose its fresh water source? How do you make that decision? Chase explains of the men who decided to stay on Henderson Island, "(they) were very much affected, and on of them began to cry" (149). I can not even fathom it. Perhaps it was not the fear of returning to the ships and the sea but that the men felt they must take control. Philbrick states of the men, "the men felt an overpowering need to reclaim at least some control of their won destiny" (106). I also think this story really speaks to the human condition and how it is subject to change at a moments notice. Human life is fragile. How do we survive it's fragility? Anyone who has been devastated or has experienced a "tormenting memory" will tell you just how fragile life can be. We are subject to natural disaster, crime, sickness, finances, senate bills that will destroy unions...(sorry)... I wonder to myself how do we organize our lives to safeguard against tragedies outside of our control? We can not. We must do what we can while we can....This ideal of survival has been represented throughout the course. We read about the harshness of the land during settlement...the conquest of explorers, the accusations of being a witch, and now the conquest and exploration of the sea by whalers. I found the discussion in class about Pollard and Chase very interesting. I focused so much on the atrocities the men faced after the wreck and the consumption of natural resources that I never really thought about life after their return. I personally do not think I would have been able to get back on a whaling ship, or any ship for that matter. I think that was extremely courageous of Pollard. Equally courageous was Pollards ability to stay in Nantucket and change his career. Individuals who possess the highest position in a community and change to try something new, I believe are admirable. However I also think Chase tried his hardest to reconcile with the disaster. If you have ever survived an attack by a crazed animal/person, it is a haunting experience. You subject yourself to endless "what if", "could have", and "would have" scenarios. Everything that happens in life after that moment is subject to being questioned. The immense guilt and anger you feel is consuming at times. I am not sure how either man ever survived after having eating a fellow shipmate. How do you come to the terms with this within your psyche? I would imagine they would not have been a day Pollard and Chase did not relive some portion of this disaster. You asked in class about a "tormenting memory". I do have one, or two, or three....lol. but the one that troubles me most involves my oldest son. It was a situation where I was trying to survive emotionally, physically, and mentally. I was involved in an abusive relationship and my son saw this man hit me and my reaction. I will never be able to save him from that....I will never be able to take away what he saw that day. I will always feel guilty for not leaving sooner or protecting him more. I do not try to think about this memory often because it is painful. I took the steps to get out and life is pretty good now for all of us but the lasting effect can still be seen within both of us. This is what I mean when I say that every event or decision made after is subject to being questioned. Things that trigger that memory is when I look into my son's eyes and see his innocence. However I will never forget so that I will never make the same mistake again... Now as hideous as the ordeal in the boats was...I just had a thought....at some point did these men feel free? Completely free from societal norms? I would think that you would have to become free of expectation of society to be able to eat another human. Tragedy and disaster can free one from their inner constraints...this was similar to the character in 'Lost'. Although he had gained his use of his legs....the plane crash and being with people who did not know him allowed him to become whoever he wanted to become....I think that is liberating...and I think this is relevant to the movie Fight Club. Tyler often talks about liberation and how to survive you must intellectually and emotionally liberate yourself. This is obvious in his quote. " I am free in all the ways you are not" or " It is only after we have lost everything that we are free to do anything". The latter quote is really intense. When those men were sitting on the make-shift boats, roasting for 4 months, watching friends and enemies die, there had to be a feeling of complete freedom at some point. And perhaps this is what set them free when they returned home, well at lease for Pollard. He had faced his worse demons and could be whoever he wanted to be. After reading Moby Dick and In the Heart of the Sea, I was interested in the black whaler. I found a book entitled, Black Hands, White Sails, the Story of the African-American Whalers. Chapter three was dedicated to the black whalemen of Nantucket. The majority of the black whalemen lived in the all-black community of New Guinea on Nantucket. Absalom Boston was a whaling master. She was the captain of the ship the Industry. He also did fairly well on land as well. He owned land and businesses. He was well respected in a time when the country was at odds about slavery. Fredrick Douglass has ties to Nantucket. Another famous African American sailor from Nantucket was Paul Cuffe. He was an excellent businessman as well a fighter for civil rights for African Americans, "find equality, we must return home"(83). He was instrumental in the development of the American Colonization Society which bought land from Sierra Leonne for the purpose of African Americans moving back to Africa...this land is Liberia. McKissack, Fredrick & Patricia. Black Hands, White Sails, the Story of African-American Whalers. New York: Scholastic Press. 1999.

self-reliance

Can we be self-reliant? Since class on Monday I have really thought about what it means to be self-reliant. Is living off your own land self-reliant? Is not needing anyone emotionally or physically? Is anyone really self-reliant. Initially I thought yes but now I do not think so. I do not think human nature would allow us to be self-reliant. If simply for anything other than to form a human relationship. I could live on an island in a hut, farm the land, boil the ocean water, make my own clothes, etc but I would not be complete if I did not have contact with my children or my family or the one that I love. So no, I do not think we can be.... Ralph Waldo Emerson survived great loss in his life by the age of 20. Coming from a long line of ministers, Emerson was forced to question a God who would be so cruel(Cheever 33). This is the same question that was being asked in the first blog of the class. Harold Kushner, who also suffered great loss in his life, wanted to know how to reconcile with a God that would take so much away. Emerson spent time contemplating this as well. His answer was a more personal relationship with God. He believed that God did not intend for us to be good on Sunday and not so good the rest of the week. (Cheever 34). In Emerson's Revelation he realized that man has lost his way in becoming man. He believes that men believed in material items and wealth to determine their place in the world of men. Emerson rejected this ideology. He believed man could prove his manhood by his actions and beliefs. Through morality, virtue, resolution, conviction, non-conformity, and integrity a man proves his masculinity. In of Self-Reliance, Emerson quotes, "Man is his own star"(1161). Man must light his own way and rely on his self to determine who he is. To continue to support this thought, Emerson stated, "insist on yourself, never imitate"(1176). The last quote that really strikes me is, "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind"(1162). Honestly it makes me think of the movie Cast Away with Tom Hanks. Tom Hank's character is stranded on an island for a considerable amount of time. While he is there he must learn to be self-reliant. He learns to start a fire from sticks, fish with a spear, create shelter, heal his wounds, and remain sane. He achieves sanity by accidentally creating a face on a volleyball with his bloody hand. This ball is his salvation. The ball is what keeps him sane. This movie also popped into my mind during our class discussion about intuition and instinct. Tom Hank's character was in a situation where he could only rely on his intuition and instinct. (I could not figure out how to link the video from YouTube...but here is the link... www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TWYDogv4WQ On the handout from class entitled Emerson & self-made masculinity, I was struck by the quote, "It was the woman's job to act as moral restraint, since men, alone, were not capable of restraining their baser emotions, their violence, their aggressive, competitive, acquisitive edge." This quote took me to Moby Dick. Ahab was unable to control his rage and his obsession toward Moby Dick. Ahab rants about the whale that took his leg and how he will chase him around the world to kill him..."Aye, aye! and I'll chase him round Good Hope, and round the Horn, and round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition's flames before I give him up"(2314). Ahab's insanity or obsession for this whale is what makes him powerful but also it is what destroys him. He was unable to keep his sanity or his mind. What is even more interesting about the mental instability of Ahab is his crew's willingness to follow him. Yes, Ahab had a one track mind and he was going after Moby Dick, do or die...but why did his crew follow? "More and more strangely and fiercely glad and approving, grew the countenance of the old man at every shout; while the mariners began to gaze curiously at each other, as if marvelling how it was that they themselves became so excited" (2313). Ahab had such a charisma about him and his determination that it convinced his crew to be excited as well. Ahab's insanity allowed him to provide a leadership for the men of the Pequod. Perhaps the crew viewed his leadership as a type of masculinity...rigid and uncompromising. Cheever, Susan. American Bloomsbury. New York: Simon & Schuster. 2006.